Monday, January 10, 2011

Bait and Switch?

So this guy I know is dating this girl. Really interesting ... I know ha ha. But he and I were talking the other day about relationships, the end of my most recent one in particular. We were talking about the idea of having one person give you everything you need physically, emotionally, mentally and sexually. And as I was telling him about my idea of one not being enough (see previous post) he made the following confession.

He told me about the state of his current relationship. He's been with this girl for almost 4 years and lately the sex has been non existent. When I pressed for details he told me that they hadn't had sex in about 6 weeks. 6 WEEKS!!! OMG!!! I could relate of course because that was about when my relationship had ended... but HELLO?!?!?!?  He was still in a relationship.

When did sex become a chore? I mean I get the fact that people become busy with their every day lives. What with kids to run from school to swimming... homework and dinner to cook.... laundry to do and beds to make... I completely understand that there is no time or energy for sex. HOWEVER... 6 weeks... that's excessive!

I asked him how they would rate their sex life and he said about a 0.5. Not only did she not want to have sex but she rejected him 99% of the time when he went to touch her. I then asked if she had always been like that, knowing full well that the answer would be no. What neither he, nor I could understand was why the seemingly sudden change. It had only been 4 years since they'd started seeing each other. This is not something that generally happens to a couple in their 20's without cause.

So then I got to thinking... either she is extremely unhappy in the relationship (not likely because she is the type who would just leave) OR she really just isn't into sex or the physical intimacy of the relationship. I personally have never understood those women but I know they're out here. Those girls who don't like sex. But she was not one of them... at least not in the beginning so he says.

So has something drastic happened or did she pull the bait and switch? Hook a guy in the beginning with an off the chart sex life and then drop off forcing him to suffer alone in cold showers?

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